Saturday, January 28, 2012

We Are Delusional

People are naturally pretty adept at deluding, or deceiving, themselves. I don't say this in a hateful, judgmental way, because I too am likely delusional in some areas of my life.

I've seen many examples, in my life and in those around me, of a person's ability to believe their own point of view so strongly, being so prideful and so convinced
that they are right, that when their point of view is challenged or questioned, they demonstrate that they have actually become, to some degree, incapable of seeing, or at least admitting, any flaw therein. This is often followed by name calling, finger pointing, blameshifting, avoidance, and flawed logic; all done in an effort to protect their own point of view. Often they can't even give the other side credit for anything, instead believing them to be a "bunch of idiots".

Now, it should be understood here that there is a big difference between delusion and lying. Some people know what they're doing when they lie to protect their point of view, while others have so completely bought into their point of view that they genuinely don't see its flaws or any potential truth in another point of view. I tend to think that much of what appears to be delusion, is actually just lying.

What I mean is that people are so fragile that when they are confronted with the truth, it is often so painful and so ground-shaking, that they must take cover. This is often done by either sticking their head in the sand and pretending they don't see the problem, or by attacking the messenger. But, in terms of pra
ctical application, I'm not sure we can discern the difference between genuine delusion and lying without significant time invested in that person (and even then it may be extremely difficult). So, for the sake of brevity, let's just refer to all seeming inability to see or admit error as "delusional". Fun,
eh?

So, where do we see delusional behavior? How about in:

Politics - It seems rare for someone in either major political party to compliment the other side, or even to be able to credit them in any way.

Personal flaws - It is a rare person who can take criticism. Most people will, depending who the criticism is coming from, lash out in counterattack (either outwardly or inwardly). Others will simply self-destruct, thus being deluded that they are completely worthless.

Relationships - "It's obviously their fault, not mine."

Religion - This takes place internally, in the form of doctrinal debates, and externally, as a defense against other religions.

If you ever find yourself labeling a large group of society (A political party, a gender, a race, a religion, etc) as stupid, uneducated, evil, etc. then you are likely either lying in order to promote your own beliefs, or you
are self-deceived. Even when it's not a group, if we assume someone with an opposing viewpoint is a fool, then we may be guilty of a great irony. It
almost seems like a prime dictionary example of foolishness could be "believing that YOUR group is so right, and the OTHER side is so foolish." Okay, maybe not... but it sure fits. It's often only when this kind of behavior is viewed from the outside that it's sheer lunacy is apparent. Until we take the time to know someone, understand them and their point of view, then we would be wise to withhold judgment.

If you're a Christian, then you may appreciate what God has to say on the subject:

Jeremiah 17:9 - Who can understand the human heart? There is nothing else so deceitful; it is too sick to be healed.

Matthew 7:3-5 - Why, then, do you look at the speck in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the log in your own eye? How dare you say to your brother, Please, let me take that speck out of your eye, when you have a log in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

So, God says the human heart (In the Bible, the heart = the emotional core) is extremely difficult to understand and is naturally deceitful. This deception affects the heart's owner, and those around them. And before we can consider labeling others as foolish and self-deceived, God suggests we remove the "log" of delusion from our own eye first. You know...so you can see better.

What am I delusional about?
I can speak to some personal examples here, as I know of some clear examples of delusion from my past. I take no credit for overcoming these delusions, as it was clearly God who facilitated the introduction of countless books and, more importantly, several awesome friendships which pushed me (sometimes kicking and screaming) along the path away from these delusions.

1) Delusion #1: Democrats (or anyone "liberal") are evil and/or illogical and/or foolish. I have gone from believing this to believing a, hopefully, more balanced view which sees that all political parties are flawed and there is wisdom in examining both sides. I see huge flaws in conservative politics, and equally huge flaws in the liberal camp.
2) Delusion #2: Knowledge (which I saw as a synonym for "truth") is supreme. I used to believe that proving the truth, truths which I still believe in now, was of utmost importance. I've learned, thanks to my wife, that truth at the cost of relationships is folly. I also now see that, ironically, the truth in which I so whole-heartedly believe, values the love of God and love of mankind over the love of knowledge. In fact, the Bible describes truth without love as the "banging of cymbals". There is no better way to convince somebody of your point of view than by showing them it's merits in love.
3) Delusion #3: Other Christians, with opposing views, were silly and illogical. I now see that any hotly debated doctrinal subject (Calvinism vs. Arminianism would be a prime example) is hotly debated for a reason. And that reason is rarely that the other side is evil and just wants to have their evil ways.

The above are just three examples from my life, and I'm sure there are dozens more.

I think it's important to realize that MOST people's views have been shaped by their lives, and MOST people don't come to their conclusions without some amount of thought or reasoning. It's true, their reasoning may very well be critically flawed, but until you know that, you should withhold judgment. And, even once you confirm that someone is incorrect, or even delusional, judgment should be overshadowed by patience and love... after all, there's a good chance that you too are delusional in some (if not many) areas of your own life.

If you're wondering, and maybe curious about how to prevent this in your own life, I believe the best safeguards against this kind of attitude are 1) Be aware of your pet beliefs 2) HUMBLY seek to keep learning and growing, and not just reinforcing what you already believe to be true 3) Surround yourself with people from all walks of life, not just people who agree with you and/or tell you what you want to hear.

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