I don't generally like movies...or rather, I like them too much. I think I must have an easily discontented personality, and that is a dangerous thing to expose to movies. You see, as you may well know, Hollywood movies are designed as fantasy worlds. They portray unrealistic lives and situations, filled with only beautiful people, perfect scenarios of sex, adventure, fun, and mystery. Movies don't often show the other side of things. They don't show the handsome/beautiful star taking a poo. They don't show the passionate couple working on their budget. They don't show the star of the show dealing with chronic back pain or digestive problems. They don't show the action sequence where the amazing super spy's car gets t-boned in a chase scene, killing him on impact.
So, movies generally make me discontent. I can watch The Bourne Identity and, while I'd not say I want to run for my life and possess amazing martial arts skills, it makes my task of mowing the yard and doing the budget seem pretty lame. Movies, when compared to real lives, do a great job of making even the most ideal real life seem utterly boring and incomplete. They're an escape from reality. I believe that the attraction, for many movie-goers, is so they can fantasize about the perfect guy/girl, the perfect romance, the perfect adventure, the perfect job, etc.
But occasionally I'm able to get something productive from my cinematic experiences. Largely this comes from the drive to not waste my life...To try to be the man I want to be. The following characters from the cinema are a few examples from which I'd like to glean some character shaping habits:
Elwood P. Dowd from the movie "Harvey" (Played by Jimmy Stewart) - Elwood P. Dowd, though perceived to be a nutjob, is Mr. Niceguy. He's Friendly... making everyone he meets feel that they are important, special and loved. This is a hard one for me, because I'm naturally introverted and, well, selfish. But, in my dreams, I'd love to be more like Elwood P. Dowd.
Jacob Palmer from the movie "Crazy Stupid Love" (Played by Ryan Gosling) - I just saw this last night. The guy is actually a sleazy womanizer, and I don't want to be like him in that manner. The one thing I take away from this character is confidence. Also, not confidence born from "believing in myself", but rather a comfort in your my skin. This obviously doesn't account for faked confidence. I mean, most people who come off as confident are, in reality, very insecure and are trying to make up for it. Genuine confidence seems, for the vast majority of people, to come from one of two places:
A) Pride and arrogance
B) Recognition that your value is not likely to be found in the eyes of the masses
The reason I break it out like this is that I see no other logical means for it. Now, I'm sure I could be persuaded otherwise, but hear me out. If you truly think you are better than everyone else, or at least most people, then you'll probably be pretty confident. Alternatively, if you don't think you're any better than the average joe, then you're going to probably seek the approval of others. We don't live in a vacuum. We interact with others constantly. So it seems that the primary way, outside of arrogance, to become confident is by believing that you have the unwavering and unconditional love of someone who matters to you more than everyone else. So, there may be the occasional odd duck that genuinely believes themselves equal with everyone else, and yet is genuinely confident and comfortable in their own skin, but I tell you it's gotta be rare. Most are wearing a mask...
Dom Cobb from the movie "Inception" (Played by Leonoardo DiCaprio) - This one is more of a stretch. It wasn't so much Cobb's character, though his passion for his wife and kids was admirable, but it was more the scenes of he and his wife having grown old together and his constant attempts to get back to his kids. This reminded me how short this life is and that I should be cherishing and treasuring every moment with my family because it goes by too fast. My kids will be grown and old before I know it... I know that someday I'll look back and say "Wow, they grew up fast" and "This life sure went by fast" and so I want to look back with no regrets about how I spent my time. I don't think I'll look back and wish I had watched more TV, or done more projects... I think that I'll be more prone to looking back and wishing I'd spent more time with my family and invested more in those relationships around me (friends, family, neighbors).
So.... while movies usually just serve to depress me, it's not always that way. I guess I just need to get better at finding truth in movies, as well as doing a better job at cherishing what I do have.... Oh, and it helps to recognize that most movies are promoting a fantasy world just as much as Disney does....
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