Just a short time ago I explained to Corey that I was frustrated with God. I felt like my prayers were constantly being met with silence. Don't get me wrong, I didn't necessarily blame God, because I also constantly battle with doubting my salvation. So, when God doesn't seem to answer my prayers, it (in my mind) casts doubt on my salvation.
Anyway, this rant basically went like this:
I've been praying a few things for a long time and have gotten no action on them. God seems to be ignoring me. They're good things...things which I KNOW God would want for me (seriously). So, why is He ignoring me? I want, just once, to have a prayer answered in a BIG way... a way that is CLEARLY God. I want to see God work in a way that unbelievers cannot refute as "coincidence". I have little faith that he'll answer me.
So, after that pity party, God showed me about a dozen reasons and ways why I am a fool. And now, I'd like to share a few of them with all my imaginary internet friends. So, here goes:
1) Job - Job couldn't figure out why God was seemingly detached and not involved in his struggles (and prayers) and so he, like me, called God out. It ended badly for Job. God was clearly, at least it was clear when you can look behind the curtain, intimately involved in Job's situation.
2) When I test God by expecting "big" miracles from Him, this only leads to an expectation for Him to always act in that manner. Basically, if He were to oblige, and do something dramatic when I think I need it, rather than just acting faithfully and lovingly on my behalf, even in a mundane way, then I would constantly expect the extremely miraculous. (and probably on an escalating scale)
3) David's victory over Goliath could be explained as coincidence. When I think that, in order to glorify God, I need a miracle that cannot be "explained away as coincidence", I... well, I'm wrong. Many of the miracles in the Bible, such as the smooth stone of a shepherd boy killing a gigantic killing machine, could be answered with "oh, that's just luck or coincidence". It was good enough to make it into the Bible, so maybe I should be okay with it. Not all of God's interventions are like as dramatic as how He set fire to Elijah's altar (1 Kings 18:16-40).
4) Pharisees asked for a sign too. Uh-oh. This may be the most damning one out of them all... The pharisees asked Jesus for a miracle so that they could believe. Yeah, that's right... the PHARISEES. Not a group I want to be lumped in with...
So, anyway, God's first intervention into my life following my complaint about His lack of intervention into my life? Intervening by showing me my failure to recognize and appreciate His constant intervention in my life. Yeah.
4 comments:
I love you, honey, and am so happy to be on this life journey with you!
It's Mom! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and struggles! It blesses me and causes me to re-evaluate my expectations from God and I do often realize what a big baby I am. I love what God does for me on a continual basis! Guess sometimes he gets our attention so that we recognize all that He is! Love seeing your journey. Love you tons! Mom
Yeah, I think God has been exposing a lot of sin in my life lately in, I hope, an effort to break down my pride and to show me my constant need for Jesus. At least that's what I hope it's for...
Ditto what Corey said. By the way, whats your phone number/email. Somehow I lost it. Chad
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