So Your Email is Sending Spam...

If your friends, or even strangers, are randomly receiving links or weird email messages from you, your account is probably compromised. To check if someone is actually logging in remotely to your email, most email providers have a way to show if someone else logged in to your account. To check this, follow these steps:

Msn.com/hotmail.com/live.com - Go to 'Account Settings' (under your name at the top right), and then click 'Recent Activity' on the left.

Gmail - It's a bit simpler in gmail, as you just go to the bottom right and click the 'details' link.

Once you're logged in there, you'll see something like this:

So, this shows information that can help you determine if someone else is logging in to your account.

If you are sending spam to your friends and DON'T see someone else logging in, then someone may be sending it from your actual computer (see option 4 below).

If you change your password, and you keep getting re-compromised, then your problem might be 'Option 2' below (or Option 3, and you keep replacing your password with another weak one).

1. Password was stolen via phishing - This is the most likely answer. In this scenario bad guys try to get you to give them your login details (username and password). I'm sure you think "But I'd never do that!", but you'd be surprised. The most common way this happens is that you get an email telling you that your account has been compromised, or offering a new service. The email contains a link that LOOKS like it goes to your email provider. In reality, you can make any link look like it's going someplace, but then send the user somewhere else. So, in this case they send you to a page that looks just like your email login page, but isn't. Once you arrive there, you naturally enter your login credentials and BAM, you're toast. They've got your login details now. Sometimes they even prompt you for answers to your security questions too, so that if you change your password, they can get right back in via the security questions (mother's maiden name, etc.).
   • To fix this, you'd need to reset your password and, to be safe, your security questions. I recommend a passphrase instead of a password. Most websites will foolishly tell you to use a password that looks like this: h9Ytz7Pp. Well, not only is that hard to remember, but it's actually EASIER for a modern password breaking tool to guess. The strongest passwords are actually passphrases... something like this: ireallyliketoeatcheeseandcrackers is nearly unbreakable AND it's easy to remember. Also, when you create answers to security questions, you don't have to answer truthfully. Often times the answers to security questions (Social security number, mother's maiden name, etc.) are readily available to bad guys in the underground. So, if the security question asks who your first teacher is, answer with something nonsensical (i.e. 'Tractor'). As long as you're consistent and remember (or write down) these answers, they work just fine and are safer. Following this, I highly recommend you set-up two-step verification. For details on this, see http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/two-step-verification-faq (for msn/hotmail/live) or https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/180744 for gmail.
2. Password was stolen via credential theft malware - In this scenario malware (Often incorrectly referred to as a 'virus' by laymen) gets on your computer and steals your keystrokes and/or files containing login credentials. By stealing keystrokes the malware can watch for literally anything you type... it can watch for you to visit a specific website (i.e. hotmail.com, gmail.com, etc.) then logging your password and username.
   • To fix this, you'd need to reset your password and, to be safe, your security questions. I recommend a passphrase instead of a password. Most websites will foolishly tell you to use a password that looks like this: h9Ytz7Pp. Well, not only is that hard to remember, but it's actually EASIER for a modern password breaking tool to guess. The strongest passwords are actually passphrases... something like this: ireallyliketoeatcheeseandcrackers is nearly unbreakable AND it's easy to remember. Also, when you create answers to security questions, you don't have to answer truthfully. Often times the answers to security questions (Social security number, mother's maiden name, etc.) are readily available to bad guys in the underground. So, if the security question asks who your first teacher is, answer with something nonsensical (i.e. 'Tractor'). As long as you're consistent and remember (or write down) these answers, they work just fine and are safer. 
   • Next, and this is important, don't log in to your email account again until the malware is removed from your computer or else they'll just steal the information all over again and you'll be back at square one. A pro will need to remove the malware and/or reinstall the operating system on your computer (i.e. start over).
   • Following this, I highly recommend you set-up two-step verification. For details on this, see http://windows.microsoft.com/en-us/windows/two-step-verification-faq (for msn/hotmail/live) or https://support.google.com/accounts/answer/180744 for gmail.
3. Weak password guessed - In this scenario bad guys find your email address (there are a variety of ways this happens, and most of them aren't your fault) and use a password guessing tool to try to gain access to your account. If you have a weak password (i.e. 'admin', '123456', 'password', etc) then this method works quite well. Once they guess it, they can then log in and use it to spam your friends and others. To resolve this, follow the steps in Option 1 above.
4. Malware is manipulating your computer - In this scenario malware (Often incorrectly referred to as a 'virus' by laymen) gets on your computer and is able to control it. So, when you're not paying attention they can use your email from your computer. Alternately, bad guys can tunnel through your computer so that activities they perform from their computer (including using your email, see option 2 above), appear to be coming from your computer. Fixing this is the same as seen in option 2 above.
5. One of the above later spoofing your email - If your email was compromised at some point, the attackers could steal your contact list, and then send spam to your contacts while posing as you (spoofing their email to look like yours). This is hard to detect and hard to stop.

Overly Critical Book Reviews Make Jesus Cry...or Something

So my title is hyperbole... it's humor... but I'm sure there are those out there who would love to "set me straight" in my misrepresentations of God. I've seen a few instances of this over the years...well, not so much correcting blog titles, but nitpicking books, sermons, conferences, etc. all in the name of Jesus.

For some reason, there are those out there who believe that setting the record straight on every minute detail of doctrine, even at the expense of unity, relationships, and grace, is their duty as a Christian. I think people too often think in terms of "right and wrong" instead of patience and grace. I know that's how I used to think. My wife later showed me the importance of valuing people above truth. To clarify, I don't put aside my beliefs or bend truth to suit relationships, but I do overlook things in the name of love.

I really believe that the tendency to defend minutia and insignificant doctrine, even defending the institution of Christianity itself, as opposed to Jesus, is the cause for so many unnecessary church divisions over the years. It seems to me that it's getting worse, likely thanks to the explosion of information availability. The Internet has seemingly turned people loose with a newfound freedom to voice their opinion about everything (ironically like I am doing right now). The real problem though, as I see it, is a failure to see the person they're "reviewing" or "correcting" as a PERSON. I seriously doubt most, if any, of these reviewers contact the authors or speakers they are correcting, prior to posting their thoughts, in an effort to find out what they meant, what they were thinking, etc.

So, it may be hypocritical, but I'm going to point out some flaws in the writing of some "Christian Bloggers". While I have a problem with anyone nitpicking another person's statements and opinions, I'm going to focus on what I feel like are the most egregious instances. Reviews of two books come to mind, books that use parable, allegory, metaphor (or artistic imagery). The two I'm thinking of are The Shack by William Young and One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp.

First, as a disclaimer, I've not read either of these books. They didn't interest me. But my wife has, and she is quite trustworthy. Additionally, based on the quotes in these reviews I've read, I can tell that their most convincing evidence leaves much to be desired. In fact, one review I read of The Shack, a few years back was both comical in its insane attempts to find fault with the book, but also horribly depressing that someone would go to such lengths to find fault.

I don't know if it's the type of people doing the reviews (generally angry sounding conservatives, my own personal heritage) or if it's coincidence, but these people generally seem to have one thing in common: they fail to recognize writing that uses allegory, parables, metaphors and other artistic imagery, instead still thinking them to be subject to their theological dismantling. (I wonder what they think of the Psalms....).

Before I go any further, I want to be clear that I don't want to come across as hateful... I'm mostly sad, and upset that people insist on dividing the body of Christ. There are certainly things worth dividing over (core doctrine, such as who Jesus is) but most of the problems these criticisms (in the reviews) are more along the lines of things the Pharisees had problems with ("Why aren't your disciples fasting!?!?!"- Mark 2:18) and yet, ironically, both parties seem to miss the point (tithing spices but neglecting justice, mercy, and faith - Matthew 23:23). So anyway....

From what I know of the aforementioned books, they are NOT intended to be a high form of theology or doctrine of some kind. They're art. They're intended to inspire and to point to Jesus as the ultimate prize. Just as you wouldn't take the Psalms or a book of poetry and point out the inaccuracies, you probably shouldn't do it with books like this either.

To be clear, you usually can't dismantle the doctrine or theology of someone speaking in allegory, metaphor or other artistic imagery. It's nonsensical. When Ansel Adams says "There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer." it's silly to retort "There aren't always two people in every picture! That's a lie!"

If these books said something dogmatic, taking a doctrinal stand, then maybe it'd be different. But, for the most part, they don't. So, my advice? Stop being divisive. Stop taking artistic books, which do no harm (One Thousand Gifts isn't convincing people to become mystics or panentheists) and finding minor fault with them.

Besides, this kind of constant nitpicking isn't what God has for you... as G.K. Chesterton says 

“Poets do not go mad; but chess-players do. Mathematicians go mad, and cashiers; but creative artists very seldom.” Find the beauty in others, in their creations... not the doctrine.

I know many of us want to seem like bigshot theologians, to prove our worth, but you don't have to do it. Jesus loves you regardless. Revel in it.

Kansas Fights Discrimination with Discrimination

Okay, so it's been a year since I last blogged... I tend to go in spurts, and this link (seen posted by my buddy Sharad on Facebook) was just the impetus I needed to throw up all over my computer:

http://dish.andrewsullivan.com/2014/02/14/what-the-hell-just-happened-in-kansas/

I don't have the energy to be real verbose here, but this Kansas bill is, in my opinion, a perfect example of what is wrong with huge portions of Christianity (the religion) today. Disclaimer: I'm no legal expert, but here's how I read it: The bill, which just easily passed the Kansas state House of Representatives, essentially allows businesses or individuals, on the grounds of their beliefs "regarding sex or gender," to refuse to "Provide any services, accommodations, advantages, facilities, goods, or privileges; provide counseling, adoption, foster care and other social services; or provide employment or employment benefits, related to, or related to the celebration of, any marriage, domestic partnership, civil union or similar arrangement;"

The bill is being pushed under the guise of protecting people from being "persecuted for their religious beliefs", with it's backers citing a case where a New Mexico wedding photographer is being sued for refusing to photograph a gay wedding, but it is, in reality, attempting to fight discrimination with discrimination.

Based on the contents of the bill, and the makeup of the Kansas populace, I can only imagine the influence of the "Christian Right" on politics is to thank for this. That's messed up, but it's another subject. What this reveals to me is, as I mentioned, what is wrong with huge portions of American Christianity. 

• They view themselves as victims....as people with rights, who shouldn't be "victimized" and who "won't stand for it" rather than those who love unconditionally and turn the other cheek.
• They see non-Christians as threats or oppressors (or impediments to their peace and happiness) rather than eternal souls (I.e. People) to love and show Jesus to.
• They view "sinners" (I put that in quotes because they don't see themselves as sinners, just others) as contaminants that must be avoided at all costs in order to avoid loss of purity (or more likely reputation) or to appear to condone such behavior.
• They believe it's their job to prove their "wisdom" (their opinions on what is right), and to act as judge for God (despite Him saying not to), rather than actually listening to what He actually says (don't judge, suffer for others, love others, tell people the Good News of how Jesus has set them free, etc).

This is so frustrating because it is exactly what was wrong with Israel. (See the Pharisees, Jonah, and Jewish views on Samaritans for examples) and it's exactly what was condemned by Jesus. It's exactly what Jesus worked to reverse.... He loved the unlovable, broke down barriers, and allowed himself to be victimized all so that the world would see what God is like.

This all further supports my theory that the same tendencies have always, and likely always will, exist.... People tend to segregate, judge, condemn, all in an attempt to justify themselves... to try to convince others, and themselves, that they are lovable, valuable, and independent (in effect, good enough to accomplish their own salvation). 

I am going to force myself to stop... and not say anymore.... I just hope it's obvious to those of us trying to follow Jesus, that this kind of segregation and hatred is NOT an option.

The Religion of Christianity

Warning: The following contains opinions and generalities. Contact me if you’re angry or confused.

For a long time, I have struggled with the feeling that many, maybe even most, in the American church are not actually, at their cores, interested in following Jesus. Instead, the church often seems to be a social society, or a morality club, or something that can be abandoned at any time, for any reason. But is that what Christ intended His bride to be?

On top of this, Jesus describes the way to following Him as a narrow road with a small gate. And yet, we see that by some statistics Christianity is the largest religion in the world! I mean, in the United States, studies show that around 80% of people in the country label themselves as “Christian,” with nearly 40% claiming to be “born again,” and about ⅔ of adults claiming to have made a decision to follow Jesus, which they still view as "important"! I don’t know about you, but ⅔ of the adults I meet don’t seem to act as though a relationship with Jesus is important. This is backed up by the fact that only 3% of adults hold what would be considered a Biblical worldview*(see note at end).

So, we have this huge group of people who claim to be Christians (albeit not necessarily holding a Biblical worldview), while we also have a huge group of people who are opposed to that group. Ironically, according to the statistics, many who oppose Christianity are actually churchgoers!

How has this happened?

To start, I think we have to identify the typical types of people who participate in the church today. But first, I want to clarify that I believe there is a difference between the church described in the Bible (the body of Christ, those who are His followers), and “church” (often a building, sometimes a group or denomination) we see today. So, for most of this article, when I refer to “church”, I’m saying the American church and all it’s buildings and denominations... the religion. So, who comprises the American church today?

1. Moralists: These have, for varying reasons, latched on to morality. Sometimes it's taught by their upbringing, or their political association, while sometimes it's caught as people see the negatives of a moral paucity. Either way, Christianity can be seen as a route to "upright living". They may leave when the church fails to meet their moral standards.
2. Socialites: These folks join the church and are fine with a certain degree of non-commitment. They attend, listen to some sermons and sing some songs, but hold political, moral, relational, and/or sin views which differ from those professed by the church. They may leave when things don't suit their needs or when offended.
3. Concerned Parents: These join the church because it supports the values (i.e. morals) they want instilled in their kids, even though they don’t believe those values are relevant for themselves. I still am not sure why people want to instill values in their children, which they themselves disagree with. These people may leave when they don’t like the values instilled in their children, or when it becomes inconvenient.
4. Disciples: These people genuinely love Jesus and believe the church is His body on earth - here to show Him off. It seems to me that this group is often frustrated with what they see in most churches...since what they see are the groups above. In desperation they may change churches, hoping to find the Jesus (and His bride) they see in the Bible.

There may be other groups, such as seekers (those trying to learn about God), wolves (those the Bible describes as coming in with the intent to divide the church), etc., but I think the above is a good list to work from.

Comprised of the above groups, the church survives. I believe this is, in part, because there's no persecution... So everyone in this country feels free to choose a religion, even if they don't really believe it. The religion (i.e. institution, again, not the true church) of Christianity in America appears to be, for the most part, a lukewarm suggestion that its people follow the rules laid out in the Bible. Sometimes low to no pressure, other times very high pressure.

The problem I see with this is that most of the churches I’ve visited or heard about, stink at preaching about what matters. If you’re teaching me about rules and how to be good, and not about the GOOD NEWS THAT IS JESUS, then you are a religion...not God’s church. I believe that this is why Christianity can appear to be a large and thriving group... the bulk of its participants aren't actually following Jesus!

Plus, the plethora of denominations and their wildly divergent views, make defining Christianity a bit like trying to specifically define a politician. You can say they “work in politics”, but each politician will explain “effective politics” in radically different, and even opposing, ways. “A politician is someone who creates laws to protect the people.” “No no, a politician is someone who minimizes laws to protect and benefit the people!”

When it comes down to it, it seems most of the people in the American church can’t agree with others in their own denomination, let alone other denominations! Those in the “Christian religion” are usually fine with people as long as they agree with them, or don’t get in their way. But because of the radically divergent views held by each person and denomination, many of them can’t stand others who are supposedly on the same team, or the religious leaders who drag seemingly antiquated (or at least contextless) views into the news and/or political arena.

I could go on and on and on, but I fear this is becoming convoluted.... So, what I’m saying is this: I think Christianity in America is, for the most part, a religion which is just like any other. While there are genuine Jesus followers in its midst, most of its members don’t subscribe to their own church’s views, let alone those in other churches. That said, much of mainstream American Christianity is unified. They’re unified by the rules and morality they see in the Bible, and they are intent on getting those around them to agree and conform. It’s no different than any other arena... people want you to agree with their political views, sports views, entertainment views, and religious views.

But here’s the thing, "Christian" schools, churches, politics, and entertainment often promotes an ideology that is divergent from the gospel... And any divergence from the gospel is a false gospel, and is destructive. (Think moralism, legalism, watering down sin, etc.) This isn’t a new thing. The true church spread like wildfire after Jesus death. Persecution couldn’t stop it. They were unified. They were inclusive, sacrificial, and loving to those around them. They were showing Jesus love to the world. However, eventually Christianity was recognized as a legitimate religion (and even adopted as the religion of the Roman empire). I think this ended up being a bad thing. Mainstream always seeks to please, to comply, to conform. And when people don’t conform, the crusades take place and people are asked “Would you like to conform? Or die?”

But hear me out here... don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. The religion of Christianity in the U.S. (and probably in other places) is, in my opinion, fundamentally broken... but thankfully that doesn’t matter a bit. I don’t need to be known as a Christian. I don’t need to be a church-member. I just need to follow Jesus. Jesus is different. The true church (the body of Christ) is different. I've said it before, but it's hard to genuinely follow Jesus in a lukewarm manner. Sure, you'll have periods of lukewarmness, but it won't be the primary pattern. If you recognize that He is the Creator of all things, and He sacrificed greatly to save YOU, a REBEL, then it will likely drive you to worship-driven joy, where you want to tell everyone. If it doesn’t, be concerned.

For me, I am coming to believe that organized Christianity often gets in the way of people coming to Jesus. Most of the time, the true church doesn't, but most of the time the organized and recognized church does. I don't want to talk about "my church" or "the church I go to" at all anymore. Instead, I just want to talk about "the people I follow Jesus with".

*According to research by the Barna institute, 3% believe the following, with the rest of that ⅔ rejecting one or more of these core Christian tenants:

1. That Jesus lived a sinless life
2. God is all powerful and all knowing creator who still rules the earth today
3. Salvation is a gift from God and can't be earned
4. They have a responsibility to share their faith
5. Satan is real
6. The bible is accurate in all the principles it teaches
7. Unchanging moral truth exists and is defined by the bible

What You Don't Know Can't Hurt You, But it Can Get You Labeled a Fool

It's a shame that admitting you don't know something so often prompts the pity or disdain of others, rather than their admiration or respect. It's a weird thing really... we want people to be honest, and not arrogant, but then when a person seeks to learn by admitting they don't know something, the most common emotion (from what I have observed) is to view them as less intelligent, and to thus feel superior to them. But, in reality, a person who seeks to learn, and isn't afraid to admit that they don't know something, is likely more secure and wise than those who won't.

Maybe I'm off base here, but my typical response when someone mispronounces a word, or says they don't know what a word or phrase means, is to suddenly feel superior. In my less idiotic moments, I guess like right now, I see that it's actually reversed. While my ego is inflated by their honesty, it's actually they who are likely more secure and wise. That's ironic.

Knowing this, while I want to be a learner, and to admit my ignorance, I also know what many others will think when I do. So, I just have to remember that my significance does not come from others, and my identity is not found in my intelligence (a fact for which I should be thankful!).

I'm thankful that God is beating me over the head with this lately, teaching me that my identity and significance come from my relationship with Him and not from how other people view me. Outwardly, I hope it results in me loving and caring about others more genuinely.

Don't Forget to Love!

Since my earlier blog entry had a bit of a condemning and angry tone to it, which I don't regret, but would like to balance, I thought I'd try to be more specific in developing the idea of Christian love.

Do we really consider love in our day to day choices and interactions with people?

Much of the behavior I see from Christians is, in my opinion, yet another indicator of how far the vast majority of the church has strayed from biblical truth.

Don't Forget Who You Are
Often times Christians behave as though non-Christians are appalling. This is ironic since we were once in their shoes and still struggle with most of the same issues they do...The difference? We're just forgiven because of Jesus. Oh, and while I think the "I'm just forgiven" deal has been distorted by many to where it sounds like a boasting ("Oh yeah? Well I'm FORGIVEN.. unlike YOU.") I am saying it in humility. I mean, my rebellion against God, and my self-centeredness (lack of love for others), is despicable.. and yet Jesus' sacrifice wipes the slate clean. This leaves NOTHING for me to boast about. All I can do is point to His work. Oh, and one other problem with being appalled by non-Christians is that JESUS CALLED YOU TO LOVE THEM, just like He did/does.

Don't Forget Who Jesus Is
The Bible describes Jesus as a friend of sinners. He was accused of being a glutton and drunkard (by the religious leaders) and He hung out with tax collectors and prostitutes. Ironically enough, many "Christians" today would likely, like the religious leaders of Jesus' time, be the first to condemn someone for hanging out with prostitutes and corrupt government contractors. Jesus loved others by serving and sacrificing for them, not by ruling and legislating over them.

Don't Forget Who Other People Are
Non-Christians are people. They're living, breathing, and hurting people, made in the image of God and capable of both amazing love and beauty, as well as horrific evil (just like YOU and ME!). But non-Christians are also not Christians. This means they aren't going to act like Christians, or hold all our values and beliefs. This is why I believe we should never try to legislate morality. Changing laws to dictate how people should act will not change their hearts, fix the world, or bring them to Jesus. There are lots of non-Christians who are far more moral than most Christians. Morality and good behavior does not save people... Jesus does. So, don't waste your time imposing YOUR rules and morality on people who don't embrace YOUR beliefs. Instead, love and serve them.

Don't Forget Who God Is
I think most of us tend to take injustices, whether against ourselves or Christianity in general, as some kind of personal affront to which we are called to respond. Additionally, we tend to carry our sense of justice into other places it doesn't belong as well. Instead, we need to respond with grace and patience, as Jesus did and does. This doesn’t mean soft peddling sin, nor does it mean ignoring the plight of the oppressed, etc., but it does mean that we don’t have to act indignant or appalled when non-Christians don't share our Christian views. It's not my job to judge and condemn. God doesn't need me to fight His battles, He needs me (and you) to show the world His love and grace.

Don't Forget What Love Is
Despite how it is portrayed by many today, love is not optional for the Christian. While it's not optional, love is:

• Genuinely seeking the best for others, including those that most would consider our enemies (Matt. 5:44). 
• Paramount. I Corinthians 13 says "I may be able to speak the languages of human beings and even of angels, but if I have no love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging bell. I may have the gift of inspired preaching; I may have all knowledge and understand all secrets; I may have all the faith needed to move mountains—but if I have no love, I am nothing. I may give away everything I have, and even give up my body to be burned—but if I have no love, this does me no good."
• THE indicator of Christianity. "And now I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. If you have love for one another, then everyone will know that you are my disciples." (John 13:34-35)
• The greatest commandment (according to some guy named Jesus): "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the most important commandment. The second most important commandment is like it: Love your neighbor as you love yourself."
• Patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up. (1 Cor 13). 

I'm pretty comfortable ranting about stuff, but in this case I'm going to leave it simple. Let's consider how the Bible describes love, and then compare our behavior to that.

August 10

I think we all have certain words or phrases that, when heard, bring a smile to our face. Maybe it's an old saying our grandpa used to repeat... maybe it's our the address of our childhood home... maybe it's the make and model of our first car. For me, it's August 10, 1977... the birthday of my wife Corey. Every time I see that date on a calendar, or hear it uttered, it makes my heart happy solely because it's her birthday.

You see, I have an amazing wife. I have rarely, if ever, thought myself to be worthy of her, because she really is the ideal woman, and as near to flawless as you can get. An amazing blend of beauty, brains, love and creativity, she brightens every room she enters and cheers every person she meets.

Everyone who knows Corey knows how good she is with people, and how genuinely loving and wise she is. So often I come into a conversation with her convinced that I know what's right, and leave seeing a better way. I've seen older women come to her for advice. I see other people's kids light up when they see her. I've heard people say "We need Corey here... then this would be fun."

She's amazing, and I'm so glad she was born.

I know it will please her more if I don't tear myself down during this post, but I'll just end by saying that I definitely "married up". Thank God for marrying up...

Happy Birthday beautiful...

The Danger in Taking Stands

In recent blog posts I've talked about a couple of different stories. One was a guy who, some news outlets reported, was arrested for "having a bible study" at his house. It turns out that, in reality, he built a 4000+ sq. ft. building in his yard, put a sign and a cross in his yard, and,  basically had a church meet in his home. After skirting the law, and failing to install proper bathrooms, handicap accessibility, etc., he was arrested, not for having a bible study but for breaking the law.

Elsewhere, Chick-Fil-A has been in the headlines when their COO Dan Cathy said the following on a radio show:

"we’re inviting God’s judgment on our nation when we shake our fist at him and say we know better than you as to what constitutes a marriage. And I pray God’s mercy on our generation that has such a prideful, arrogant attitude that thinks we have the audacity to redefine what marriage is all about."

These comments, and opinions regarding them, went viral. It seemed everyone was talking about Chick-Fil-A and, depending who you listened to, the opinions ranged from "That's his opinion, big deal.." to "Christians need to stick up for Chick-Fil-A and their family values!" to "Chick-Fil-A is run by hate-mongers!" to "Chick-Fil-A gives money to hateful organizations, and that is a big deal". (I made those up, but I think they largely convey the gamut of opinions out there.)

But here's the deal, even as I write about those two examples, I have no way of knowing if I have all the facts. And having all the facts is vitally important. One thing I've learned about communicating is that it's very easy to assume. When we don't have all the facts it's very easy to paint a very one-sided, and yet seemingly believable, picture. Whether it's in individual relationships, or corporate decisions, we really do need to know the full story. We need the context, but the problem is that context is frequently withheld.

News organizations, political parties, and social media sites (which are largely fueled by commentary from those not in the know) are fully capable of twisting and manipulating stories into unrecognizable, but very sexy, dramas. And all this leaves the reader/listener/viewer completely ignorant of the truth, and yet completely sold on what they've just ingested. And so it goes on and on, propagating, morphing, and fueling people's sense of justice, rage, bitterness, sadness, or whatever.

I guess this, among many other reasons, is why I'd suggest focusing our efforts on the problems and issues right around us. If each of us did that, then the world could be dramatically more like God intended it to be. Imagine if we all poured their lives into those around us... into our neighborhood, our downtown, our local government. I imagine this would be a very effective bottom-up approach.

So... let's stop accepting the hype, stop assuming that what we hear online must be true (or false), and pour ourselves into helping and loving those right around us.

Ouch.

Just as a follow-on to my last post, I wanted to share this picture I saw on Facebook. It pains me greatly to share it, and it pains me more to agree with it. Here goes:

This image was, presumably, taken when Christians recently showed up in droves to support Chick-Fil-A after all the recent hubbub. I had heard there were multi-hour lines as a sort of show of 'solidarity'. The problem I have with this isn't so much that people want to support Chick-Fil-A, after all people do have a right to their opinion, but it's rather that Christians spend so much of their time doing stuff like this. It seems that the genuine efforts, support, and outspokenness of most who proclaim Christianity are poured into keeping their local "Christian coffeeshop" afloat, donating to Christian radio, changing legislation to stomp out homosexuality, or helping other Christians prosper financially.

How about we be outspoken and passionate about things Jesus actually cared about?

Anyway, I could go on, but the picture (and my previous blog post) make my opinion clear.

Persecuted? Probably not.

I've encountered a number of stories lately that have gotten some of the Christians (or maybe just the right wing folks) all in a tizzy. These stories lead to the inevitable "They're gradually taking away our rights" or "They wouldn't do this to other religions" or "Watch out for this ruling, things are going to get very bad" or "They're persecuting us". 

I'm going to say this as nicely as I can: No, they're not persecuting Christians...at least not for the reasons you seem to think they are. I rarely meet a Christian who is worthy of being persecuted for the things that Jesus said would get us persecuted. While Jesus said we'd be persecuted for being his disciples (i.e. being like Him), most of us are persecuted for being annoying, judgmental, snobby, harsh, self-centered, illogical, hypocrites. I know that may be hard to swallow, but it's true. Most of "Christianity" that the world around us sees right now is a bunch of whiny, judgmental, prudes who directly equate Christianity with being a Republican. It makes me sick.

Christian's are suffering from a sort of tin-foil hat paranoia. Someone is out to get us, all because we're being like Jesus. We're sure of it.

Nowhere is this paranoia clearer than in the news. For example, some dude was recently arrested in the southwest for, depending on which news network or blogger you tuned in to, either "having a bible study" or for "breaking the law". Christians got all upset about this guy getting arrested for "having a bible study" at his house when, in reality, he built a gigantic building in his yard, put a sign and a cross in his yard, and, well, basically had a church meet in his home. And no, this was not a "house church". It was a 4000+ sq. ft. building (in which he refused to install proper bathrooms, handicap accessibility, etc.). This guy was arrested, not for having a bible study but for breaking the law.

When Christians raise a ruckus about stuff like the above, they look stupid and petty.I've said it before, but Christianity IS NOT ABOUT BEING RIGHT! When we sit around waiting for non-Christians (such as Obama) to make a mistake, rather than loving them unconditionally, EVERYONE LOSES. When you are looking for mistakes, you'll find them... even if they aren't really even there. But, again, is this what Jesus did? No. 

When you admit that someone you disagree with has made a good point, you don't invalidate your belief system, emasculate yourself, or deny Christ. As Chevy Chase said "It takes a big man to admit when he's wrong... I am not a big man." In fact, admitting someone else has a good point makes you look GOOD, and SECURE in your identity... (oh, and it makes Jesus look good too). How often have you watched someone argue vehemently, even when they're clearly wrong, and thought "Man, they look smart, secure, and comfortable with their identity."? Me either. On the flip side, I can't imagine how cool a politician would look if he said "You know, my opponent makes a great point here and I really like what he has to say on this topic."

Oh, and just to be clear here, when I say "even when they're clearly wrong" because Christians are OFTEN wrong. Why? Because, again, we choose to view other people as our enemies and to wait for them to make a mistake so that we can cram it back down their throat. Obama said "You didn't build that" in regards to small businesses, and what was the response? I saw many Christians jump him. A) Try to understand his point, not his exact words. B) Give some grace. C) Even if you DO disagree, SO WHAT! You look petty and scared when you point it out.

I think this all comes down to the fact that most Christians are insecure in their identity, and thus believe that they need to prove themselves valid, right, and worthy. BUT OUR WORTH DOESN'T COME FROM PROVING OTHERS WRONG... IT COMES FROM JESUS! Jesus was patient and gracious, He hung out with sinners, He focused on people rather than government laws, He denounced religious leaders, He focused on the hurting and helpless, He spoke about the GOOD NEWS rather than the sins of those around Him. I can't help but think that this sounds NOTHING like most people in the church today. 

Or, maybe some deluded Christians genuinely believe that denouncing anything "sinful" is the best way to win people to their view. (I say "sinful" in quotes because people have baggage associated with that term, AND because some of the things that get denounced aren't even really sinful!) This is some sort of purist view that seems to imply that people will be attracted to us because of our purity. But they won't. The bible doesn't say they'll know we are Christians by our purity. It says they'll know us by our love.

It seems like some of us think that we need to be a "jerk for Jesus"... like the more outspoken, and rude, we are with our beliefs, the better. As if drawing persecution to ourselves then makes that persecution/suffering 'holy' and 'righteous'. This isn't what Jesus had in mind when he promised that we would suffer for Him (John 15:20). It's also not likely to lead to people asking about the hope within you (I Peter 3:15).

Old Testament figures, such as Daniel and Joseph, were put in positions of authority and power not by mocking authority figures and telling them how wrong their religious views were. Instead, through humble submission and servitude, Daniel and Joseph both endeared themselves to those in power, and gained a strong position for their God. Also, the early church, which spread like wildfire, and was unstoppable in its growth, was effective not because they denounced the culture and sins around them, but because they admitted their OWN sins and loved those around them (servitude) DESPITE their sins. True Christianity is completely dependent on Christ alone, not on self. 


We've clearly forgotten the gospel.

I long for the day when the church wakes up, remembers who it is, puts down its signs, pens, and keyboards, and picks up a towel to wash some feet. Regardless of where you are now, you were once an enemy of Christ...How can you stop arguing with those around you, and start loving them?

The Importance of Gospel Fluency

I've said it before, but I think most Christians still see the gospel as a portal which they are to pass through into the Christian life. When we think of it this way, we're saying that the good news (which is what 'gospel' means) is the beginning, but we move on without it after that. There are some big problems with this way of thinking. As I've said before, the gospel is the good news that God has made a way. The good news that Jesus, God's perfect son, died to make right what we had made wrong and, if you want to end your rebellion, surrender to the One who loves you (the maker of you and of the universe) and turn to follow Him, that He is now, and forever will be for you....your advocate. This advocacy is good news.

The good news that, in Him, we have complete freedom.
The good news that we get to be adopted into His family.
The good news that our joy in Him begins now and is a foretaste of the world to come.
The good news that when He returns there will be a world without pain, death, or suffering, and that we get to enjoy it with Him.
The good news that He is our reward, and is the only thing that ever fulfills its promise to satisfy.
The good news that we have permanent acceptance based on nothing but Jesus.
The good news that we have nothing to prove and nobody to impress.
The good news is that He has done it all.

So, I hope it's clear that these are not things you should want to 'move past.' God did not forgive our rebellion, and then expect us to do it on our own after that. We've clearly proven incapable of doing it on our own, so that would be ridiculous. No, God makes it clear that the good news is all Him. He has done it all, and we need only to rely on Jesus' finished work. We can do nothing to make Him love us more, and nothing to make Him love us less. Perfect freedom. Complete Joy. No stress... GOOD NEWS!

So, on a practical level, how does it look? Well, simple examples:

• When you encounter rejection from others, you can know that the God of the universe accepts you and loves you unconditionally.
• When you face potential workforce reduction, you can rest assured that God is in control and works all things for your good.
• When you treat your spouse like garbage, you can know that God loves you no less than He did before, and that you are free love your spouse like He loves you because your burdens and needs are taken care of by One who is able to truly bear your burdens and perfectly meet your needs.
• When you're tempted to hoard your belongings, you can remember that God owns it all, and that your joy and security are found in Him, not in things.
• When you are hurt by others, you can forgive because you've experienced the ultimate forgiveness, and you will never be hurt or failed by God.
• When you look foolish, you can remember how foolish Jesus looked dying for you, and you can rest assured that you have the permanent acceptance and perfect love of the one who made the world and everything in it.
• When you fail, you can remember that your failures won't make God love you less, and your success doesn't make Him love you more. He loves you completely and unconditionally.

We encounter our need to be reminded of the good news dozens of times every day.

Gospel Fluency

I first heard the idea of Gospel Fluency during a training session by Jeff Vanderstelt in Boise. Fluency, as Jeff explained it, is when you no longer have to translate in your mind in order to speak the language. This means that you dream in the language, and are completely comfortable in that language. So, based on that definition, Gospel Fluency is when you are so comfortable applying the Gospel to your life, that you don't have to stop and figure out how it applies...it just comes naturally.

It may sound easy to be Gospel Fluent... but it's not. It's simple, but not easy. The above examples I gave are not only simple ones, but I'm removed from experiencing them. When we're in those situations, it often becomes even more difficult for us to "gospel" ourselves (quickly remind ourselves of the truth).

Although it's not easy, it's important. If we're not constantly 'gospeling' ourselves, then we're likely replacing the gospel with lies. We're likely living as though we are God and can handle things ourselves. We're likely to condemn ourselves and others, or deify ourselves and others. This is a dangerous path, and I believe it's the path the bulk of the modern evangelical church is on. (This is the basis of my previous post "From Good News to False Religion").

So maybe you are wondering how to become Gospel Fluent. I can't tell you that. I'm in process myself, and it's different for each person... but I can tell you what others have told me:

1) Read the Bible, in chronological order (like a story) a lot.
2) Seek the help of others who want to walk the same path (i.e. gospel each other!)
3) Pray a prayer, such as the following "Gospel Prayer" (written by JD Grear), as both a reminder to yourself AND as a request for God's help:

“Father, There is nothing I can do today that would make you love me more; nothing I failed to do yesterday made you love me less.”

“Your presence and approval are all I need today for everlasting joy.”


“As you have been to me, so I will be to others.”


“I’ll measure your compassion by the cross and your power by the resurrection and pray accordingly.”

The Role of Christians

Despite our best efforts to make the Bible and God's will confusing, they're usually not. For example, the answer to one of the most important "what is God's will" questions, namely the purpose of mankind, is crystal clear. Does that surprise you? If this was ever unclear, or up for debate, Jesus put it to rest when He answered a question posed by religious leaders of the time. These leaders, who had (like most of us) missed the forest for the trees, asked Jesus this: "Which is the greatest commandment in the Law?"

Good question eh?

Well, Jesus answered, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the most important commandment. The second most important commandment is like it: Love your neighbor as you love yourself."

You see, the Bible is full of admonishments and commands, but they aren't all weighted equally. Jesus put the emphasis right where it belongs. Love God and love people.

This is, I believe, the purpose of the Christian life, and the purpose of the church. That's right. You and me, we exist to love God and people.

But what does that mean?

Loving God means enjoying Him and the gifts He gives (which serve to point us to Him as the giver of good things), and by making much of Him. Most people are very good at enjoying God's gifts, they're just not so hot at recognizing them as gifts from God. We also tend to not be so great at enjoying God. This is wrapped up in the gospel, and could use a big explanation (which I won't do here), but, simply put, it's recognizing that His very person and characteristics are the only place that joy can fully be found.

Additionally, we make much of Him by telling others about Him. C.S. Lewis does a great job of describing this, and I think I've even quoted it in this blog before, when he says "The world rings with praise — lovers praising their mistresses, readers praising their favorite poet, walkers praising the countryside, players praising their favorite game — praise of weather, wines, dishes, actors, motors, horses, colleges, countries, historical personages, children, flowers, mountains, rare stamps, rare beetles, even sometimes politicians or scholars." We praise everything around us naturally. God is the ultimate good and is ultimately deserving of our praise. If you don't talk well about your spouse (i.e. praise) then your love for them is called into question. If we don't praise God (both when alone and when speaking with others), then our love for Him is questionable.

The other primary purpose of mankind is to love people. There are lots of great ways to love people, such as feeding the poor, helping the helpless, and finding ways to make the world more like God intended it to be. That said, I don't believe those alone to be the best means of loving others. If I truly believe that God is the ultimate source of joy, and the only one who can break the cruel taskmasters to which people are enslaved, then pointing people to God is the most loving thing I can do.

So, if we assume these purposes to be true, and truly primary, then what are all the commands throughout the Bible there for? Well, they're there to promote and further the cause of God (Love). Oh, and just to be clear, love is not always what people think of as love. Love does not always let people go down a self-destructive path. Loving a buddy of mine does not mean I let him abuse his spouse. In short, love does not always mean letting the other person get their way. Love is doing what is best for that person. Oh, and to be clear here, that does not mean that they should be berated with the gospel either. Love is patient and kind. Love waits for the recipient (of the gospel) to be ready to act on it, and does not force the issue.

I alluded to it before (when talking about other means of loving people), but all means of loving people can, and should, point people to God. I can feed the poor and help the helpless because I believe they're made in the image of God, and are valuable to Him. I love the fact that many of the seemingly bizarre commands in the old testament are much less bizarre when we look at them from the perspective of love. For example, if you read the Bible as a book of rules, then when you read that you should put a parapet on your roof, you'll think "gosh, that's bizarre." But, when you read the Bible as God's story, which is all about loving Him and loving people, then you see a parapet as a good and loving thing, which keeps people from falling off your roof and dying.

Love is the consistent, overarching theme of the Bible. Whole books could be, and have been, written on this subject...so I'm going to stop before this becomes a book. That said, I hope this gives you pause, as it has me, to consider what you are doing to pursue the purpose of your life.

P.S. - If you want to know if you are using your day-to-day life to its fullest for this purpose, see my prior post (which is just a link to a short Jeff Vanderstelt video).

P.P.S. - I don't think I'm supposed to use P.S. in a blog. Oh well.

How To Know You're On Mission

I saw this video today and loved it. It's Jeff Vanderstelt, who we've modeled much of our recent lifestyle after, talking about how to know if you're on mission. It's a short clip, and well worth it. If you're a Christian, and wondering how to tell if you are "on mission", then this video may be helpful.

You're Wrong, I'm Right. You're Stupid, I'm Smart.

As I sat at my computer the other day, I came across a quote by Carl Sagan. As a Christian, I find atheist quotes instantly get me upset. And so, I have to ask myself why.

Why Josh?

I'd love to say it's simply because of my zeal for God to be honored... Unfortunately, though I'd hope for this to be my response someday, I don't think that's the case now. I think it's just pride on my part. It's the same feeling as when some MU fan spouts off about their rival KU. As a KU fan, I get irritated and want to prove them wrong. Same with the atheist. I want to prove them wrong.

But here's the problem...I don't think God is honored by proving people wrong. God is honored, glorified (made to look good), when people confess who He really is and worship Him (confess He alone is worthy of our devotion and adoration). While this might, at a very superficial level, still seem like "proving them wrong," it's notably different from a typical attempt to prove someone wrong. How?

Well, people tend to feel justified when they prove someone wrong. "You said God wasn't real, but He is! See! YOU WERE WRONG and I WAS RIGHT! My beliefs are valid and justified. I'm on the right team." That's prideful justification on our part because we're concerned with being right, not with God being right. If we want God to be glorified, then we should want to help others come to Him... not prove them wrong.

Again, God is most glorified when people become worshippers...when they enjoy Him. Think of it this way. Is your favorite sports team or politician made to look best when you prove their opponents wrong? "Actually sir, your statistics on Robinson's free throw percentage are dramatically flawed. See this link for the actual number." BOOM! In your face! Hmm... Or are they made to look best when a doubter becomes a fan? "You know, I hated Robinson and thought he was overrated, but hearing you talk about his personal suffering has made it so I want to cheer for him." Exactly. The latter scenario honors Robinson much more. The opponent is no longer simply wrong about Robinson, they are a follower. And so it is with God...

Our response to a person's hatred and criticism of God should be to show them a glimpse of God's love and mercy in our response... not worry about being "right." I think this is the sentiment behind the archangel Michael's response to Satan (in some bizarre situation involving the body of Moses) when he said "The Lord rebuke you!" He realized that it's up to God. It's God's place to rebuke. God's place to be proven right. God's honor that matters. Michael didn't feel the need to prove his point. He just left it up to the ultimate Judge.

To me, this plays out in all kinds of everyday scenarios and frees me up to love God and love people without having to worry about being right all the time... something I worry about FAR too often.

From Good News to False Religion

I am convinced that much of the church has, functionally speaking, become a false religion. How's that for a light-hearted hypothesis? Well, it may sound like some kind of knee jerk, "I'm sick of these people" reaction, but I swear it's not. Let me explain.

From what I see in my admittedly limited scope of contacts and resources, genuine understanding of the gospel, and reliance upon it, are rare commodities these days. I don't know at what point in history this turned, but the predominant belief system I see in the church today is one that has resulted in the church becoming eerily similar to most other religions by defining acceptance and/or maturity in terms of deeds done. And yes, the vast majority of the evangelical church would say that this is not their belief.

The climate of the church today is one in which people do not cling to the gospel as their only hope for life. Instead, people cling to rules, self-worth, knowledge, behavior, status, power, etc. to define their position with God. And, to be clear, this does not primarily consist of people who simply fail to constantly remind themselves of the gospel, rather it's people who have a fundamental failure to fully grasp what is meant by "salvation by grace".

One Master - The True Gospel
The gospel is not about the good we must do for God, it's about the good that God has done for us. It's not a doorway through which we pass, then maturing on to our own life of good deeds. We always have, and always will, need Jesus in every moment of every day.

"Gospel" means "Good News."
It's the good news that God has made a way.
The good news that Jesus, God's perfect son, died to make right what we had made wrong and, if you hate your sins and turn to follow Him, that He is now, and forever will be for you....your advocate.
The good news that, in Him, we have complete freedom.
The good news that we get to be adopted into His family.
The good news that our joy in Him begins now and is a foretaste of the world to come.
The good news that when He returns there will be a world without pain, death, or suffering, and that we get to enjoy it with Him.
The good news that He is our reward, and is the only thing that ever fulfills its promise to satisfy.
The good news that we have permanent acceptance based on nothing but Jesus.
The good news that we have nothing to prove and nobody to impress.
The good news is that He has done it all.

God has carried out every detail of His plan and our only task is to love Him for it....and how can we not?

How Did We Get Here?
I think, aside from the "minor" issues of poor preaching, leadership, and writing, we have other problems. The first problem is that we are a very logical people, and our logic is based on our sensibilities. After all, the gospel is foolishness to the world is it not? I Corinthians 1:21-25 says:

"For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."

Deep down we know we are broken, and inadequate, but the gospel seems foolish and weak. And because of that, we seek to get right with God by means that we see as worthy. Our culture promotes the idea that you can pull yourself up by your own bootstraps, and that nothing is beyond your reach if you simply believe and work hard. The problem is that God says that's hogwash. He says we can never be good enough... NEVER.

Human wisdom aside, the other way we got here, and by far the most popular way, is by being idolaters. Idolatry is, for many of us, an old-school word which conjures up images of bowing down before hand-carved statues. But, that's not what idolatry really means. Idolatry is anything which we put in place of God for our hope and happiness. In the case of our salvation, that can be a variety of things but it often comes down to being good enough. Practically, this means that we believe that in order for us to be right with God, for Him to be pleased, we need to be strong, good, successful, mature, humble, kind, etc. The problem with this is that the gospel says the very opposite is true. The gospel is about God's strength in our weakness and foolishness, thus showing Him to be supremely good.

Incidentally, I believe this is why the majority of us are so uncomfortable with rebuke & admonishment. Proverbs 9:8 says that if you “reprove a wise man” “he will love you” and proverbs 15:31 says that those that “listen to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise.” These verses indicate that the wise like rebuke!  I know... that sounds wrong. But why? And why is it so foreign to us? I don't know about you but I don't look forward to, or delight in, being rebuked. Well, I think the answer is directly tied to what I just described in those of us who try to be good enough. A rebuke is someone telling you that you aren't good enough. Telling you that you've sinned. So, if your system is all about being good enough, a rebuke threatens to topple the entire belief system, and even your very salvation. Understandably, when this is the case, instead of reproof working to our benefit, we run from it out of fear. Praise God that's not the gospel and that is why the wise embrace rebuke. They know that only by admitting their weakness, and casting themselves at the foot of the cross, will they actually grow in their relationship with Christ.

But a life of moralism doesn't just do harm to our relationship with God. When we attempt to look good enough, or to be good enough, we unwittingly attempt to disprove the gospel. How so? Well, if we are successful in being good enough then the gospel is proven to be a lie. We're not too weak. The gospel is suddenly unnecessary, and God is a liar, and the whole system collapses. I think that's vital to understand. Any attempt to prove yourself good enough is an attempt to prove God a liar. God says we are weak and incapable of saving ourselves and we best believe Him rather than believing in ourselves.

While being "good" is one major aspect, idolatry also rears its head in the church via people who are there for "other" reasons. What I mean is that there are a huge number of people in the church who have never been truly impacted by the gospel, but are there instead for other reasons. Some have traded in their "sins" for "righteousness." Someone who seeks power over others via the sin of sexual abuse can trade that in for seeking power over others by being a very devout, religious person. The Bible, knowledge, spiritual "maturity", leadership, monetary giving can be used to exert your "spiritual authority" over others.

Most forms of idolatry involve serving God in order to get something from Him, or through Him, rather than serving God to get more of Him. God is the treasure and if we state it any other way, then it's no longer Christianity.

I realize these "false gospels" aren't what very many of us would profess to believing, but it is what many of us functionally believe. Think about it. Does any of this sound like you or people you love?

It's dead religion and it leads only to despair and exhaustion. Chasing idols (Respect, prosperity, sex, power, human acceptance, etc.) will always leave you disappointed and exhausted because they cannot bear your weight! All it can do is create workaholics who can never quite do enough to be feel justified, parents whose children never live up to their expectations, and lovers who cannot find satisfaction.

Trusting in ourselves, and in our deeds, to satisfy God will only drive us to see Him as a cruel task master who can never be satisfied.

The gospel flips this all on its head by assuring us that God has accepted us, and that there's nothing we can do to make Him love us more, and nothing we can do to make Him love us less. Good deeds naturally flow out of the experience of this kind of love. When we seek God as the reward, and we have nothing to prove, and no bar to reach, then Christianity is exciting, freeing, and joyful.

You Got REBUKED!

At a recent church gathering, there was some mention of accountability as a positive aspect of community. Having come from a really conservative, unhealthily so, Christian background, in which accountability and rebuke were, at least for me, things to be feared. So, I have spent some time trying to recover the true meaning of accountability, and thus have some opinions on the matter. Yeah, I know...surprise!

I think it's natural to view accountability, and specifically some of its aspects, such as rebuke and admonishment, with suspicion and fear. And, in many ways, these feelings are justified. I say this because the American church has, for the most part, failed to employ a Biblical version of accountability. This typically falls into one of two camps: 1) Hands Off and 2) Gloves Off.

1) Hands Off - In this model of accountability, we observe people struggling in various aspects of their lives. This can be marital strife, addiction, pride, and other general idolatries and failures to trust God. In the Hands Off model, instead of lovingly assisting the person who we see struggling, we watch and hope someone else helps them, or we figure it's "between them and God". Hands Off is the default model for most Christians partly because of fear of conflict (which is really a misunderstanding of what accountability is) and partly because most of us have so few relationships that are deep enough and rooted in love enough to really justify acts of confrontation or admonishment. After all, admonishment and confrontation from someone who doesn't really know us is at best superficial, and at worst deeply hurtful. Unfortunately, often times the Hands Off model is practiced until things "go too far", at which point the "Gloves Off" model is deployed.

2) Gloves Off - In the Gloves Off model, when struggling is seen it is confronted aggressively. This typically means telling them to "man up" or "STOP IT", to motivate them with guilt or threats, or to challenge their 'Christian maturity' by accusing them of lacking faith or some other apparent Christian "requisite". In many cases, Matthew 18:15-17 (passage on "church discipline") is viewed with cold-hearted, dogmatic "instruction following", rather than in the light of attempting to rescue someone from themselves. When this kind of "instruction following" is employed, it's often done with complete disregard for feelings or for how well you know the person you are confronting.

"Uh hi, I saw you speak unkindly to your spouse and just wanted to say that you need to quit acting like an unbeliever. Have a nice day!"

In reality, Christian accountability is supposed to be done for the other person's good. It's simple and subtle, but we often get confused and act as though accountability is not for their good but for ours. Maybe we are annoyed, or apalled by behavior we observe, and we feel it's our "God given duty" to let them know they are wrong.

But, again, the problem with that is that accountability should be an act of love. Not an act of justice, revenge, or pursuit of "the truth" (insofar as "the truth" is just "setting the record straight"). It's not shaping the other person into your likeness, or your ideal, at your pace. It's shaping them into Christ's likeness at HIS pace.

In reality, this should look more like real friendship than a business transaction. In these scenarios, when you see your friend stuck in the throes of sin, you will choose to approach them about the sin, to empathize, to help them determine the root cause of their sin, and to show them how the Gospel answers that root cause. Then, you'll choose to stick with them, pray for them, and help them in any way that is truly beneficial, regardless of how quickly (if ever) they respond. It is usually not a quick meeting or two or a counseling session, but a continual walking beside and loving of a person.

And, as I've tried to describe before, loving doesn't necessarily mean simply trying to make them feel better or convincing them that everything is ok. Loving them means being real, and helping them to see areas of weakness which may be blind spots to them, praying with them, and talking specifically about the sin that is contributing to to their situation. Sometimes it can seem like a tough love, and other times it is the sacrificial love of helping to support a friend in their time of exaggerated weakness (I say exaggerated since we are always weak and in need of the Gospel of Jesus).

I hope you've gathered from this description that this kind of accountability is nearly impossible to do without a prior relationship of love. If you haven't already invested heavily with love in a relationship, then you probably aren't the right one to "help" direct that person. But, when this kind of relationship does exist, and accountability is done in love, then it will most often result in good. Yes, it can still be painful, but it's good. "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

One additional thing to keep in mind, so that you might love others more effectively, is to realize that, due to a variety of factors, many professing Christians believe an appearance of maturity, independence, and even sinlessness, is a good and necessary thing. And so, when you point out a sin or weakness in their life, they're likely to respond negatively. After all, you are challenging what they believe to be the very core of their Christian existence. Acknowledging your accusations may very well seem to them to be acknowledging that they're not good enough, or aren't worthy any longer or that they're not as good as you are. This is clearly an opportunity for you to speak gospel truth into their life. To "gospel" them by showing them that it's not about being "good enough" and self-reliance, but about reliance on Jesus. If the gospel is truly the key to their happiness, as it should be, then you'll be reminding them of their freedom from sin and they'll likely, in the long run, thank you.

Ultimately, true Christian accountability should point us to Jesus, to the cross, and will serve to help us to see where we have failed to believe truth about God.